THE GABRIELLE BIRCHAK SPATULA! 

This isn't just any spatula! No, this spatula also works as a back scratcher! It's just like John Kerry - it's a flip flopper. Oh the things you can flip with this! Call now, and get your FREE Gabrielle Birchak Excitement Inducing Information Tag, attached to it, nonetheless. (is that a sentence?)

Yours for ONLY $259.67

Get on our easy payment plan! Just pay one cent a month for ONLY twenty-five thousand, nine hundred and sixty seven months! Operators are standing by! 

THE GABRIELLE BIRCHAK BROWN SOCKS! 

These socks aren't just trendy, THEY'RE CLEAN! Order in the next three hours, and receive your FREE Gabrielle Birchak Excitement Inducing Information Tag. Can be worn with other clothing ... or not.

Yours for ONLY $373.82

Order in bulk, and receive a FREE Heavy Duty Broken Generator OR Staple Remover while supplies last.

THE GABRIELLE BIRCHAK 99 Cent Store TOILET BRUSH! 

This toilet brush takes multi-tasking to a whole new level! When you are finished cleaning your toilet, you can use it to brush your hair! Order in the next three years and receive your FREE Gabrielle Birchak Excitement Inducing Information Tag.

Regularly $1,754.19.

Order today and it's yours for ONLY $32.00, yes, ONLY $32.00! 

Styles may vary.